


Life of a Dark Lord

by Kitty_Shinju (Queen_Kit)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Crack Relationships, Don’t copy to another site, Gen, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-05
Updated: 2008-08-05
Packaged: 2019-11-08 21:39:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17988986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Kit/pseuds/Kitty_Shinju
Summary: A very random oneshot fic. Voldmort goes to America for a new reign of terror and keeps a journal.**relationship very minor, but figured I'd mentionSaved from the impending end of my Fanfiction Net account





	Life of a Dark Lord

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The characters from Harry Potter Don't belong to me... Ok?
> 
> HEY! I FOUND ANOTHER PLOTBUNNY!

Day one

Journal,

Today I am naming you Salazar. I am scheming something wonderful.

That is all

* * *

Day 2

Salazar,

I have finalized my plans and am going to America tomorrow. I have an evil plot to finish.

END

* * *

Day 3

Salazar,

I am in America and have killed a man called Dr. Phil. I am taking over his show tomorrow. Too late to cancel "Teens with parent troubles" I am now impersonating the disgusting muggle.

:shudder:

END

* * *

Day 3 (Later)

Salazar,

Wormtail recommended that I see a Psychiatrist. I crucio'd him for that.

END

* * *

Day 4

Salazar,

Show went strangely. Girl came saying that mother had problem with "Slut dress". Saw dress, agreed with mother. Wonder why people don't follow my rules of dress… Wait, I'm a Dark LORD I can make them follow my rules… May go see stupid Psychiatrist to see if he can tell me what I was thinking.

End

* * *

Day 5

Salazar,

Saw Psychiatrist… Fool could not tell me what I was thinking. Killed Psychiatrist, was not worth 10 galleon down payment… Took back down payment.

* * *

Day 6

Salazar,

Have started American reign of terror with Death Eaters. Can hear screaming every moment… Life is good.

* * *

Day 7

Salazar,

News has reached Hogwarts… Damn that Dumbledore he is sending stupid yet strangely attractive Potter boy here. Will see if seducing Potter works better then killing him.

* * *

Day 8

Salazar,

Found Potter boy walking in the street. Introduced self as Nicoli Ridles. Could not stop looking at Potter Boy's eyes… Was NOT attracted too Potter boy…

Will work on denial tomorrow.

* * *

Day 9

Salazar,

Saw Potter again. Can no longer deny attraction. Began seducing Potter boy… seemed to work

* * *

Day 10

Salazar,

Had long conversation with Potter boy while staring into his eyes... Potter boy said I was his only true friend… Had funny feeling in heart… Discovered that there was indeed a working heart in there…

* * *

Day 11

Salazar,

Potter boy has fallen for me… And I have fallen for him. He ran away from Dumbledore and I told him the truth. He still loves me… Had funny feeling in heart again.

* * *

Day 12

Salazar,

Sharing Hotel room with Harry. Heaven is here. Have ceased reign of terror

* * *

Day 13

Salazar,

Harry and I need alone time… Going to Hawaii…

* * *

Day 20

Salazar,

Harry and I had a great time at Hawaii… Harry doesn't like that I keep a journal. Will stop writing now.

Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> AN: I hope you laugh as much reading this as I did writing this.


End file.
